On Galateo, the Italian art of showing up right, and why soft skills are the new competitive edg
There is something I experience last week I want talk about event if it hurts. A young hire, who was at a business lunch at a nice steakhouse, holding his knife and fork the way a person holds a shovel while working in the garden. Elbows wide, super tight grip. The food made it to his mouth. Not sure about the impression on his hosts.
That young professional is an extreme case. I get it. But the truth is, most of us could use some table manner re-skilling. The next time you are out, whether it is for a business dinner or a new date, take stock of your table manners. How are you holding your fork? How are you sitting? Look around the table, compare, and make a decision right then to become the best table person in the room. When you are the most at ease, the most delicate, you become the most likable. That kind of presence will be noticed by people around you. Every single time.
I am not writing this to embarrass anyone. I am writing this because nobody is teaching us those skills anymore. And that is the real issue.
We live in a much more urbanized world as we used to, and over 55% of population live in cities, where families eat less and less together, where Sunday church meal are a long gone tradition, where community dinners have been replaced by DoorDash, Uber Eats and a flat screens. We eat during zoom calls, or alone. The small rituals that once taught us how to sit, how to eat, how to shake hands, how to welcome a guest, how to pour wine for the person next to you before pouring for yourself, have pretty much disappeared. Nobody noticed these changes, until they were gone.
In Italy, we have a name for this body of knowledge. We call it il Galateo, from Giovanni della Casa’s Renaissance treatise on manners, published in 1558. Whatever you call it, the idea does not change: there is a way to carry yourself with confidence, respect, and ease. And when you do it, you have a kind of invisible currency that opens doors no resume or linkedin profile ever can.
Here is what nobody is telling you regardless of your age: those soft skills are more distinguishing today than they have ever been, precisely because they are scarce and noticeable. When everyone has a graduate degree and a premium LinkedIn profile, the person who knows how to host a dinner, how to pour an Amarone wine from Veneto without dripping, how to make someone feel at home in their living room, that person wins
I know this because I lived it and I used it to my advantage to get a job.
When I arrived at Georgetown for graduate school in 2005, I was the less well-off person in the class. My classmates came from everywhere in the world, most from wealth, private equity and ambassadors dads. But I could cook. I could host. I know how to buy beautiful wines nobody knew. I knew how to organize an aperitivo that felt like an elegant event, how to put together a table where the conversation mattered as much as the food. I threw dinner parties for ambassadors. I hosted Georgetown professors, diplomats, and students from global elites. Not because I had the biggest apartment or the most expensive wine. Because I understood something they did not teach in any seminar: people remember how you made them feel, and a well-prepared table with authentic Italian food from Veneto and real warmth is one of the most powerful things one human being can offer another.
That is the Italian advantage. It is not about being Italian. It is about the Italian approach to relations building: that beauty, pleasure, hospitality, and touch are not luxuries or extras, they are the foundation of building relations. When you cook for someone, you are forging lasting relations. When you hold your knife and fork correctly, you are showing, without a word, that you have been somewhere, that you know something, that you fit this table.
The good news is that none of this is genetic. It is learned. It is practiced. It is a set of skills, exactly like writing or public speaking, that can be trained, refined, and made your own. The Galateo was written as a guide to help people improve their manners. Giovanni della Casa was not describing a fixed aristocracy. He was writing for people who wanted to interact better in the world.
That is what we call The Italian Advantage. A practical, warm, and charismatic guide to the soft skills that will still matter when every hard skill on your resume can be replicated by a robot or a machine. How to host. How to eat. How to dress for a real occasion. How to make an aperitivo that becomes the best part of someone’s week. How to sit at a table and make every person at it feel special.
Start with the fork.